The Hazzards of Being A Portrait Painter

I could not make this up if I tried...

On the 24th of May, a man stopped by while I was at the Point. and asked me if I could paint a portrait from a photo.... piece of cake, no? Well, on Wednesday, we signed the contract, he sent a bunch of photos, so in essence, I was commissioned to paint a portrait of a couple and their dog..... I spent all week getting the man and woman ( Puerto Rican model type -young, brown, tanned, brunette) down perfectly, and only had the dog to do..... and I knew from 6 times past....that a very nice younger woman (actually a blonde bombshell!) walked a Vishyla (sort of reddish smaller dog) (which was the same breed as in the reference photo) by me every Sunday at Walker's Point, ...... in fact, I decided to bring the portrait and some cookies (if they walked by) and persuade the dog to sit so I could get it down... which they did........... 45 minutes of oil pastels later, I turn the painting to show this woman...

her comments,... that's my dog all right, and that's my husband, done perfectly I might add..., but who the fuck is that woman? Speechless, I showed her the reference photo... did you know that locksmiths are available on Sundays? The wife works and lives in the house they own in Boston, they have a condo in Kennebunkport and she comes up every weekend... and he lives and works in Florida (they own a house there too). She immediately took out her iPhone and connected with locksmiths in Boston and in West Palm Beach…..

{{{{{Otherwise I had a wonderfully productive day once my heart stopped going 200mph.}}}}}}}
{{{{{{and an aside.............. (while she was recuperating and I petted the dog), she wanted to send me a photograph with the same pose with her, him and the dog as a puppy and to send it to him so when he unveiled it in front of the brunette....... truth be known,. even tho she offered me thrice what I was paid... I declined, as this guy's not in the same league with MEN and not worth my further effort and besides red flags were going off in my head.....}}}}}

When I got home, I sent him and email telling him nothing other than the painting would be ready to be shipped to Florida...(at his request in the contract) soon...... I expected to hear from her attorney sometime later Sunday...

gotta get the sound track of the Twilight Zone out of my head.....

It gets much more what's the word... impossible????? On Monday, the husband emailed me, and will be in Florida to pick up the painting on such and such a date... but I KNOW FOR A FACT... from an email from her... that he has no keys to get into the West Palm Beach house... and that he won't be able to accept delivery of the painting for obvious reasons...................
Alice... please let me have a piece of that cookie.....curiouser and curiouser

Also, later on Monday, I came one finger click from being seriously embroiled further, but a call from my lawyer (my cousin Pete), interrupted my sending an email to her which contained everything check, contract photos, etc... had I done that, I'd be in serious breach of my own contract (with HIM) and would be in deep legal do-do, but "Gracie do Deus" (that's Portuguese for Thank God), I answered the call... now, I await the official subpoena to hit the send button...

The husband (or should I say soon to be ex-husband)'s later email asked me the progress and I fibbed and told him the varnish wouldn't cure enough to get the glare diminished enough to photo it well...probably until Thursday... and HE seems totally fine with that... clueless still.

I also spoke with a Maine attorney (Pete's in Connecticut) to reaffirm/second opinion... and I have nothing to lose sleep over at all... but this is one painting... soon to be chimney smoke... which is OK by me.

All in all, ..... how stupid is he? he knows his wife walks the dog past me on Sunday, he gives me a blurry picture of the exact same dog (although I DIDN'T KNOW THIS AT ALL) and doesn't think that the artist might want to use anyone's Vishyla as a model...... when he does connect the dots.... will the fur fly? More to come, although I hope not. Legally, I'm what they call "inconsequential" to their whole legal proceedings... had I asked the blonde to dinner... well I didn't!

So all in all St. Michael watched over me two times... didn't ask the blonde to dinner, didn't send the email... but I guess He was also looking over Her shoulder as well... but what a strange way of informing a woman that her husband is unfaithful..........

.... and as of today, the (soon to be ex-) husband STILL has not made arrangements to accept delivery of the portrait. My thoughts are that he thinks that preventing the delivery and closure of his contract will cease any information sent by me to her attorney... Little does he know that she offered to pay me double, allowing me to return his money, thereby voiding His contract, thereby allowing me to send everything to her lawyer........................... we'll see...........